I just saw an ASPCA commercial while getting tea and my brain sputtered and shivered and barfed sadness inside my head.

Why are humans such assholes? Why are we such ruinous creatures?
All our waste and destruction? We're a virus of the worst kind!

A bunch of selfish fuckheads.

That monkey does not want to be your husband and eat ice cream with you! That lion does not want to jump through the hoop and onto the chair! That bird does not want to sit on a swing and sing from a cage!
I'm so sorry, remainder of the animal/plant kingdom. You are SOOOO much cooler than we will ever be and we are ruining your beautiful home... REBEL! REBEL!!!!!!!