sporn

ok, i really can't even say how much shit mail i get in my love story account.
unbelievable amounts of it.
LOADS of it.
today, for instance, i logged in (first time since before the holidays) and had FIVE THOUSAND messages.
all spam, most of them in reference to my dick.
well, sorry, i don't HAVE a dick.
but i do end up laughing my ass off at the subjects of these emails.
so here are a few, just for shits and giggles.
oh, and as you can tell, i'm doing great on my "cuss less" new years resolution.
.
"Your wife will always crave for your new big rod"
"Set your lassie on fire with your new giant rod!"
"Make your trouser python huge and rock hard!"
"Grow an anaconda out of your trouser snake!"
"Kindle a passion in her heart with your magic stick" (awwwwwwww)
"Produce a real wonder on Christmas! Increase your love handle"
"Turn your trouser mouse into a monster schlong"
"Turn your small knob into a huge meat stick!"
"Get super-size for your willy on New Year holiday!"
"Turn your weewee into real monster!"
"The volume of your male meat is absolutely essential"
"Upgrade your love weapon to fight better in year 2008"
"Promote your little soldier of love in a new year!"
"Real holiday miracle is waiting for your little willy"
"Make your dik the envy of all your dudes"
"Your huge boner will impress her in New Year!"
"Super-sized one-eyed monster will live in your pants"
"She will always be hungry for your new big sausage"
and finally:
"If you've got a small dic'k, don't blame your parents"
.
happy friday ya'll!!!!!!!!